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Answering Machines we ran into:
This is an answering machine. There are no staff in the library at this time due to the recent local outbreak of Bubonic Plague. Please to not spread this news, as we are hoping that the Health Department will allow us to reopen in a few days. Please ring back then.
Hello, there. This is a childrens' library. We cannot hear you over the noise. There is no point in your leaving a message, because we won't be able to hear that either. The best way to contact us is by writing. Unfortunately we are often unable to answer mail, as our patrons are a little enthusiastic with their stamp collecting, but feel free to try anyway. Byyyeee.